What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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