I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
