I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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