I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
