I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
