And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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