so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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