10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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