wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
