Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
