We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
