Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
