Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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