She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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