White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
