she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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