If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
