couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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