yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
