Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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