I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
