Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
