We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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