he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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