He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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