3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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