in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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