I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I party with great urgency now.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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