i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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