There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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