You really coming over, don't trick.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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