I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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