i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize