if i died would you start the facebook group?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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