in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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