Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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