Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
