You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Is this like a preordered booty call?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
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