So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
