I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
