I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
