I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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