How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
