I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
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I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
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True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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