There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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