Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
