Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
