these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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