That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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