I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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