I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
