HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
