I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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