Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I have aggressive nipples.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize