Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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