Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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