Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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