Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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