Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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