it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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