Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize