she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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