thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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